Tag Archives: Review

Chapter Eighteen: The Lovely Bones Analysis

As with the last chapters- more over-analysed quotes from Sebold’s The Lovely Bones…

~The Analysis (18)~

  • “The old woman that rented the closet liked to listen in, so Ruth tried not to talk much on the phone” 248- Idea that Ruth is trapped in the place she is supposed to feel most safe- her home in the town. Links to the idea of captivity within the rest of the novel. Lonely perception of the old woman: perhaps she felt the need to listen to Ruth talking to her father since no one ever spoke much to her, also the idea she rented her closet suggests that is all the space she had in her house for people to stay- hence presumably not many people stay with her (besides Ruth who doesn’t care where she stayed).
  • “The city had very little to do with her interior life” 249 – suggests she does most of her living on the inside- she lives through her thought and connection with the dead, hence perhaps this is why she makes ‘people nervous’ on the outside- she only lives within, outside she is dead.
  • “You could see the skitter rabbit energy” 249- recurring theme of rabbits- symbolise her vulnerability- Also traditionally, rabbits are associated with fertility, sentiment, desire, and procreation- suggests her desire to be who she really wants to be (sexuality wise?) is a fire that only burns within- she prefers to keep herself to herself…yet people can see through to her soul through her eyes. “People never said anything about her eyes”- is this because they are dead (links to earlier point), or because they have a distaste for what they see?
  • Significance of dressing all in black- doesn’t state this is her uniform- coating herself in the colour of mystery and desire- what she desires to be? Mysterious and desirable?
  • Also interesting how Ruth appears to be linked to Harvey- she ‘makes people nervous’ like her does, she evokes reactions from dogs like he does…
  • “No one knew where she was at any time of the day and no one waited for her. It was an immaculate anonymity” 250 – sense of utter isolation about Ruth- it seems as though she has no one in the world that would miss her if she was to end up in the same state as Susie- yet she never becomes suicidal. Sense of strength about the character of Ruth, as if living along side the dead was giving her the strength and motivation she needed. Anonymous just like Susie’s mother desired to be- she shared links with the family without realising.
  • “Ruth knew her status as a freak at school”- stereotypical high school culture. This label utterly juxtaposes her position as a ‘celebrity’ in heaven. Almost oxymoronic.(pg 250-1). She had no friends in school (besides Ray) yet fans in heaven. Perhaps this is why she associates more with the dead, she can sense an appreciation she doesn’t get from the living.
  • 252 “her ardentness was off-putting”- the fact that people can find Ruth’s positivity conversely negative suggests he doesn’t belong among the living. The people of earth find Ruth strange, and cannot connect with her supposedly ‘human’ emotions- hence perhaps her ‘fans’ in heaven understand what the living don’t.
  • “It was better to look like you were doing something when you stared into the distance” 252- evokes a sense of similarity to Mrs Utemeyer when she was narrated to sit and stare into the distance just as Ruth desires- Utemeyer was ‘part dead’ due to her lack of a brain- perhaps Ruth is too, half dead?
  • “Her journal was her closes and most important relationship”- she can form her closes relationship with something that is not living- again links to the fact that she is not similar to the living, she connects more with the dead, and objects that cannot be classed as alive.
  • “Ruth counted the living just as much as she counted the dead”- shows she just has a natural tendency to connect with the dead, since it is not as if she devotes more time to them, they just come to her.
  • “School librarian…tall, frail woman with wiry hair”- stereotypical school librarian- fact this was Buckley’s favourite teacher shows how he is different- he is similar to Ruth, not chosen first in gym- shows how he has a connection with the dead similar to Ruth (shown when he states Susie talks to him, yet we never get clarification from Susie that she actually does this. Could someone else dead be talking to him?)
  • 254 “…when he was unable to sleep and scanning the few books on gardening that the school library kept”- shows how Buckley is wavering from the stereotypical high school boy, he is doing things not considered ‘cool’- becoming an outsider- just like Ruth and her hobbies were  not stereotypical or cool. “the few…that the library kept” shows how his desires and passions were a minority.
  • “He didn’t like what he read in books”- he has an active mind, just like Ruth when she read books- always wanting more than the pages could offer- reverting to her mind.
  • “…work shed in the garden, where he kept his tools and supplies” 254- evokes an alarming similarity to Ruth- she used to write poetry in her father’s tool shed in the garden and now Buckley is concealing his desires in a tool shed in the garden…foreboding: he will turn out just as ‘freaky’ as Ruth.
  • “The curl up like a hand unfolding”- Buckley describing his tomato plants 255- simile shows how Buckley find them welcoming- again links to Ruth- they find dead objects (or at least, in comparison to a human life- dead) in a way more welcoming than the living.
  • 257- relevant that Jack blacks out when he and Buckley are arguing over Susie? Was it her that caused the heart attack not wanting the relationship between rather and son to deteriorate in front of her eyes? Sensory language (“cold” “damp”) foreshadows the father’s collapse- almost puts the reader in the place of Susie- we know something isn’t right with him and that something will happen, yet Buckley doesn’t. Reader given insight into future just like Susie has.
  • 258 “If he died, I would have him forever” – emphasises again, as in previous chapters, how Susie has maintained her childish desires- shows how she is never growing up.
  • “We stood- the dead child and the living”- the first time Susie seems to acknowledge the fact that she is different to the living. She doesn’t say ‘two children’, she acknowledges that there is a difference between her and her sister which she has previously not done. Shows how she is almost ready to leave earth behind.
  • “air and cover ” “little boy and wounded man” – seems as if the quotation goes a lot deeper than solely speaking of their current situation. As if this is the state they shall remain in forever due to the trauma of Susie’s death- this is what they will both never grow out of. Buckley will remain a small frightened child, and Jack a ‘wounded man’.
  • 260 “I saw the brick paths advancing as I advanced” – physical impossibility- links to fantasy genre- “rending and tearing of time”- again, fantasy genre, defying the physical possibilities of time


 

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ALL OF ME JOHN LEGEND- PIANO TUTORIAL/ COVER

Visit link to tutorial: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZH2VQHVs7U , or click here to view video.

The video in itself was not designed to be a tutorial, however due to the ever-so-convenient camera angle, it may very well be classifyable as one. Comprendo? I hope this is sufficient to pass as a ‘non-piano playing piano player’…if that translates into anything in the English language!_

 

 

Thank you for watching…if you watched. If you didn’t…well. You should (please!)

-PT.

 

Diet Foods That Are The WORST For Weight Loss

I came across a lecture on a website recently, which reminded us all of the basic yet fundamentally important fact that: ‘just because it says “diet” or “low-fat” does not mean it is healthy for you.’

A diet expert tells those longing for a slimmer body: ‘Don’t be afraid of carbsquinoa, lentils and barley actually aid in weight loss. High-fat foods are not the enemy either – avocado, fatty fish and coconut oil are actually very good for you.’


So here goes…diet foods the effectively defeat the objective:


  1. FLAVOURED FAT-FREE YOGART: “When companies take out the fat, they add in Image result for tumblr yogurt flavouredsugar. Although they might appear lower in calories, sometimes a single serving of yogurt can contain up to 15 grams of sugar,” a diet expert explains. “Choose plain-Greek yogurt because it is higher in protein and add in your own flavour such as fresh berries or cinnamon.”

2.   STORE PURCHASED SMOOTHIES: “Many store bought smoothies are loaded with high calorie ingredients, preservatives, and artificial sweeteners that bring their “health” factor down,” says Roots. “To be safe make a smoothie at home, it’s very easy and then you know exactly what is going in it!”

 


3.  ‘LIGHT’ SALAD DRESSINGS: According to research- “you need to eat salads with fat-based dressings to get the most out of the vegetables. They also contain very few calories, which may be a good thing for weight loss, but a salad with low-calories will not keep you full for long. Therefore, you will end up snacking or eating more at your next meal.”


4.  FAST FOOD SALADS: According to ABCNews: “the Grilled Chicken Bacon Ranch salad at McDonalds contains 13 grams of fat and 270 calories, and with light balsamic vinaigrette dressing it comes to 360 calories and 21 grams of fat”


5.  PROTEIN / MEAL REPLACEMENT BARS: “The general rules are when you flip the bar over and notice the ingredient list takes up almost the entire side (which means it’s loaded with chemicals and fillers), it contains more than 200 calories per serving, and contains more than 8-10 grams of sugar, it is closer to a candy bar and should be avoided,” Roots says.


6.  TRIAL MIX: “Nuts, dried fruit and seeds mixed together seem like a great diet food to snack on, but the truth is that it is extremely difficult to stick to the proper serving size. Many people do not realise how much they are eating and they end up consuming almost a half a day’s worth of calories in one sitting.” Now that’s an achievement if you ask me…perhaps not the right one though. Ah well. Next time!


7.  ORGANIC COOKIES: “Just because something is organic doesn’t mean it is healthy or if a package of cookies only has 100 calories, most likely it is loaded with artificial sweeteners and chemicals, which make them actually worse for you than eating an actual cookie.”


8.  DIET COLA (or ‘soda’ if you are that way inclined): Again, we are reminded of another fundamental fact: “Just because it has the word “diet” in it does not mean its diet-friendly.” The site goes on to elaborate: “Diet soda has been linked to the development of metabolic syndrome and obesity. In a study conducted by the University of Texas Health Science Centre, people who drank two or more diet sodas a day had waist sizes that were six times bigger than those who didn’t drink diet soda.


9.  GLUTEN FREE…ANYTHING!: The site expands- “Some gluten-free foods are healthy, but the truth is, there are many foods claiming to be gluten-free that are not diet friendly. Any food that is pre-packaged will never be as good as eating a food in its natural form such as fruits, vegetables, and lean protein,” says Roots. When choosing gluten-free foods make sure you check the nutrition labels for ingredients such as the sugar content, sodium level and calories – “the more ingredients you can’t pronounce, the worse it is for you.


10.  FRUIT JUICE: An expert reports: “Fruit juice isn’t always as fresh and natural as it may seem. It may even contain more sugar and calories that a sugary soft drink.” According to Authority Nutrition, “fruit juice contains some nutrients, but less compared to many plant foods. It contains no fibre and is just as high in sugar and calories as most sugar-sweetened beverages.”


11.  GRANOLA: “Granola and granola bars may be one of the least healthy snacks – most are loaded with sugar and have very little fibre. One cup of granola can equal about 600 calories, about 25 grams of sugar and almost 30 grams of fat. If you really want to purchase granola, make sure you read the labels and choose the option low in calories and fat.”


12.  FROZEN DINNERS: “most often these pre-portioned frozen dinners are loaded with preservatives and sodium and are lacking enough vegetables to have nutritional value,” says Roots. She suggests creating your own “frozen dinner,” by making a large portion of something like chicken stir-fry and keeping in in a tupperware container in the freezer for the week.


13. Image result for tumblr dreid fruit DRIED FRUIT: So, it’s a common fact: fruit is great for a diet snack”. This is because, of course “it’s loaded with vitamins and minerals that are good for your health”. A sitte claims: “Dried fruit tends to be high in calories and natural sugar. Also, considering dried fruit is energy-dense, it’s much easier to eat large amounts of it at a time, which in turn can result in excess sugar and calorie intake”- according to Authority Nutrition.


14.  RICE CAKES: Perhaps a bit of a shocker to some this one- “Rice cakes rank high on the glycaemic index, making it the kind of carbohydrate that will leave you hungry again in a couple hours, while also sending your blood sugar soaring”.


15.  VEGGIE BURGERS: The truth is revealed…”these burgers aren’t made with just vegetables; they are based on processed soy. They also tend to have an excess amount of sodium, and when you add toppings to it, your calorie consumption will go sky high.”


 

 

16 Common Dreams & Their Interpretations

Everyone has dreams…well, at least, everyone has subconscious dreams (ouch…). Did you know the average adult will of had 100,000 or more dreams within their lifetime? I once heard on top of this that one dreams up to 20 dreams a night…so what do these dreams actually mean? One expert claims it is the body sending internal messages to the person, and if one acted upon a dream, perhaps someone can change their conscious life (for the better, of course!)

Await no more…the answers to all of your dreams and an insight into your subconscious self *cue non-existent fascinated ‘woo’ from also-non-existent crowd*


 

STUPID SMARTPHONE- Smart phones and Facebook are the latest objects to Image result for tumblr phonecreep their way into our dreams. THE DREAM: The most common tech-dream centers around dialing the phone: either your fingers are too fat to dial the numbers on the keypad, or the call keeps dropping, or the person simply cannot get the desired numbers to appear on the screen. THE ANALYSIS: This is analysed to revolve around communication issues in real life. Failing to make a call- and thus communicate with another- may relay the real life situation in which you feel your thoughts, opinions or feelings are not being listened to or considered by someone else.


RUN FOR YOUR LIFE- For women, a commonly recurring dream involved being 2. The Dream: Run for Your Lifechased. An expert believes these dreams ae triggred by ‘fight or flight’ situations in waking life, in which one chooses avoidance rather than open confrontation. THE ANALYSIS: The question from this dream, experts say, is ‘what are you running from in your daily life? It is said that these dreams will promptly stop, as soon as the real life fear is confronted and dealt with.


HAIL TO THE CHIEF- “dreams about the president may symbolize your ability to Image result for tumblr presidentmake decisions and govern your own life”, an expert explains. THE ANALYSIS: “If the president is a helpful character in your dreams, then most likely you’re managing things well, she explains. If he’s a malevolent character, then you may be misusing your authority. And if he is in danger or not well in the dream, then you may be afraid to harness your own power”.


Image result for tumblr schoolSCHOOL DAZE- Almost all ‘back-to-school’ dreams can be related to job stress. ANALYSIS: “That’s a good indication you’re feeling uncertain of your place at work or even your career choice.” Worried about the school bell ringing? “That suggests we feel time is running out on us in real life in the career department.” THE LESSON: From this evident dissatisfaction, perhaps it is time to take action and bin the school bell. Maybe this means finding a new job, or solely making the existing one more meaningful.


FURRY FRIENDS- Dogs are said to represent the characters they possess: loyalty and friendship. THE ANALYSIS: “When you have a dog dream, think about whether the behavior in the dream mirrors behavior in a human relationship you have.” THE LESSON: “Ask yourself which of your real-life relationships reminds you of the behavior of the dog in your dream. Are you or is someone around you being as loyal as a Labrador or as vicious as a pit bull? Your dog dreams will clue you in to the degree of loyalty within you or around you and whether it needs some obedience training or needs to be let loose.”


FLYING HIGH- It’s said to be in connection with your ability to ‘soar to new heights’ and progress onto higher levels within your life. THE ANALYSIS: “You may find yourself flying in your dreams when you have broken free from a bad relationship or a heavy situation the previous day.” THE LESSON: “This dream is telling you to continue being inspired about something you’re doing…this dream is showing you that the ability to rise above and break free is alive and well within you.”


 SECRET RENDEZVOUZ- The affair dream does not have to mirror reality; there needn’t be a real affair to dream of one. THE ANALYSIS: “It does mean something is getting in the way of your relationship. Usually the culprit is work. But it could also be the Xbox, golf or fantasy football. THE LESSON: This dream can actually fan the flames of your relationship.  Once you can pinpoint the cause, compromise. “Offer to give up or cut back on something your mate isn’t a big fan of if he or she promises to cut back on the activity that is causing you to feel left out.”


 

LOOSING YOUR TEETH- This is said to be linked to the way you communicate in waking life. “It may indicate you allowed something out of your mouth that should have remained in there, like your teeth . Another variation is the “teeth crumbling or breaking” dream. This is often about weak speech. Maybe you don’t feel you made your point well enough in an argument, or perhaps you didn’t say anything at all when you should have.”


FULL EXPOSURE-“Finding yourself naked in public is a classic dream and may reflect feeling vulnerable and exposed in waking life.” THE ANALYSIS: Loewenberg says she had the dream the night before she went on “Good Morning America.” The root of the dream is often connected to the concern that others are going to see your flaws. THE LESSON: “Have you ever noticed that no one else in the dream seems to care that you’re naked and you’re the only one freaking out? Your dreaming mind is reassuring that you are the only one giving so much thought and energy to this situation.”


HOME SWEET HOME?- The house is representative of you, whether it is the home you know and love or somewhere utterly unknown. THE ANALYSIS: “Look at it as an honest blueprint of your current self-image. If rooms are neglected, this could be connected to a talent or skill you are no longer using. If you’re eager to explore new rooms, this could be connected to your need to learn and grow.” THE LESSON: “Finding new rooms is your dreaming mind showing you there’s more to you than you are using”- hence perhaps it is time to use that neglected talent, or expand further in your job, schooling etc.


HELLO, LOVER-“In dreams, sex is not about a physical union you want but rather a psychological union you need. For a woman to dream of sex with an unknown man, for example, may mean that she desires generic male qualities and is working on uniting these into her own self and behavior. Sex with a coworker doesn’t necessarily mean you secretly lust for the person, but rather that you desire his or her ability to handle clients with ease.” THE LESSON: “Your sex dream tells you that uniting a particular quality or attitude into yourself right now — a quality from your dream lover — will bring about a new life for you.”


APOCALYPSE NOW-“End-of-the-world dreams are very common and signal that some aspect of our own world is ending or changing.” THE ANALYSIS: “Moving to a new town, changing careers or quitting an addiction — all these milestone changes can bring apocalyptic dreams with them.”


WHERE IS MY CAR?-“Losing your car in a dream is connected to uncertainty or loss of motivation.” “Ask yourself what in your life you no longer want to continue or what is causing you to feel uncertain. This is found to be a common dream among retirees. It can be a reflection of their feelings of being directionless now that they no longer have a job to get up and go to every morning.” THE LESSON: “Your dreaming mind wants you to find a new path.”. “It’s time to try something different because the direction you are headed in now isn’t going to get you anywhere.”


FINAL FAREWELL-Dreams about death don’t usually signal a person’s actual demise. ANALYSIS: “Typically, they occur when things change or end in our lives”. “We may dream of someone we care about dying when our relationship with them is changing. Parents, especially moms, may dream of their children dying when the child has reached a milestone. We may also dream of our own death when we have undergone a major change.” THE LESSON: “Your dream is telling you that it is time to let go of what is passing so that you can look forward to what is coming.”


CLOSED FOR REPAIRS-“The most common metaphor for the clogged-toilet dream is the inability to use it  because of its condition. It’s often linked to the inability to express yourself when something is really bothering you. If you dream toilets are nasty, clogged or unusable, you need to ask yourself what frustration or negativity you are holding in right now. What is it that you are not allowing yourself to flush away?” THE LESSON: “This dream is warning you that your emotional plumbing is backed up. The more you allow your frustrations (to build up), the bigger ‘mess’ you’ll have to deal with in the end. Let it go!”


READY FOR TAKEOFF-“Planes often represent a journey for which you have high hopes.” is most commonly found that planes are connected to career because, like a plane, your career is something you hope will take off, reach new heights and take you places. “When the plane comes crashing down from the sky, it may reflect a giant letdown that has occurred.” THE LESSON: “Be proactive in assessing and evaluating your career path and where it’s headed. Don’t let a little turbulence throw you off course — time to regroup and change directions…”



 

5 WAYS TO INSTANTLY BOOST YOUR ENERGY~ PLOTTWISTT

The result of these methods is said to turn your body into a ‘fatigue-fighting machine’…I’m not so sure these have the ability to transform a human into something bionic but I’m sure they’d do something  just as effective (only slightly less risky, I hope.)

So here goes… five exhilarating ways to instantly boost your energy:


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FIND SOMETHING RED: It’s odd maybe, well actually, it’s not. red is an emotive colour that is capable of physically changing the body: it enhances blood pressure and can boost heart rate. It’s known as a ‘stimulant colour’…
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YAWNING – seems trivial and obvious right? But yawning is a way of cooling of your brain, and hence re-energizing it. (Fun fact: did you know the average yawn lasts for 6 seconds? Well, the more you know!)
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RUNNING/ WALKING- 2 hours…that’s how many hours of energy on average you will have after only a brief 10 minute walk.
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GET ON YOUTUBE- run and tell your parents: watching videos like dancing hamster (or ay other hilarious creation) will boost your blood pressure and increase heart rate, hence leaving you with a new and energised self.
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CHIA SEEDS- sprinkle some of these around! (Preferably keeping them on your salads, thanks). They are choka-bloka with Vitamin B, protein and fibre.
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STRETCH!- Bored? Tired? Lacking energy? Try this: stand in the doorway facing forwards with your feet several inches apart. Reach the sides of the frame, now grab the frame with your fingers and push your chest forwards, until you feel a stretch in your torso and back. Hold this for 30 seconds. The exercise stimulates the ‘sympathetic nervous system’; this hence, is clearly a beneficial little stretch.

8 THINGS YOU HAVE BEEN USING WRONG YOUR ENTIRE LIFE!

Do you use your hair grips (or bobby pins if you are that way inclined) upside down? Can you locate the built in straw-holder in your coke can? Do you know how to double the volume of your ketchup pot at McDonalds? Your life-changing wisdom awaits you…

(Hover over/ click the image to cue caption/ explanation…)

‘Eat your way to smoother skin’

The long and short of it is, as obvious as it may sound, it is not necessary to pay astonishing amounts of money for some devil-looking cleansing serum when it is perfectly possible to obtain clear skin without the chemicals.

These foods are ‘anti-cellulite’- yes, I too what a little like ‘what the hell is this cellulite beast I have been eating my whole life, it sounds like some type of disease’. But no, this is cellulite:

ff

 


…And here are the top twenty foods to fight cellulite:


Tomatoes- great for fighting cellulite, also for containing lycopene, and vitamin C which promote collagen production…this in turn increaes skin elasticity. 
Pineapple- known for being an extraordinary aphrodisiac…(in case you don’t know what aphrodisiacs are…well…have fun googling that!). On a lighter and less odd note, pineapple is a rated anti-inflammatory. Again it prevents water retention
Watermelon- contains up to the equivalent of one glass of water per slice. Also a good source of potassium and fibre, of course. It is high in antioxidants that stimulate blood flow and fight against water retention…

 

 

Pears- provide potassium, and activate slow metabolism, and furthermore reduce the effects of toxins in the body.
Citrus- marvellous for vitamin C, certain for B, which help increase blood flow and reduce toxin deposits
Berries- for vitamin C to eliminate toxins and their deposits within cells
Bananas- great for stimulating blood vessels. Good source of potassium, vitamin B6, and magnesium. In addition, bananas prevent water retention and stress- great for combating cellulite. I REPEAT- BANANAS PREVENT STRESS?! Apparently.
Avocados- high in calories, yes. But they also are chocka-blocka f essential fatty acids that are tremendously good for skin. Just to top it off, they also improve blood flow and fight cellulite.

 

Nuts- packed with protein, fibre, healthy fat, vitamin E…all things marvellous at fighting cellulite. Eat too many, and the fat shall roll on, ‘all in moderation’, as they say. A handful a day keeps the cellulite away
Grains- pasta, black rice, cereals, and other grains are a great source of low-calorie energy. They are too packed with antioxidants that contribute to eliminating cellulite-forming toxins
Broccoli- as well as being an exceptional source of vitamins and minerals (blah blah, I know), this super-food is high in alpha-lipoic acid. This acid helps thicken collagen and thereby avoid cellulite.
Green Tea- Increases metabolic rate, which in turn reduces the absorption of unwanted fat. It also has diuretic and slimming properties- these fight water retention, and of course, cellulite.
Water- it helps eliminate a variety of toxins, which is handy since cellulite is absorbed by toxins. This means, reluctantly, the higher the volume of water drunk, the more toxins eliminated. So be sure to drink your 2.5 litres a day.

A Work In Progress- Connor Franta: Review

tumblr_nqg9twr7Wp1tcf0aho1_500 (1) So. Damn. I-n-s-p-i-r-i-n-g. When you read this book- because you will – you literally will feel like you could fly to the moon in a Tesco’s carrier bag…or something. I bought the book because it was on offer in Tesco- hence the convenient Tesco reference above. I admit: it was cheap. So I bought it- relatable? No? Oh, just me then. But the point is…ITS FREAKING AMAZING! Let me expand on that…

For the deep thinkers, big dreamers, and innovative creators of the world who inspire me.

This basically is a picture-perfect, well…word-perfect summary of the WHOLE book:

  • Deep thinkers

This 212 page object will seriously make you re-evaluate your WHOLE life. There are chapters on “The Levels Of Friendship”, anxiety, his struggles to identify and accept himself and his sexuality, suppressing your inner creativity, accepting your flaws, happiness, faith…and coffee. There is literally a chapter called “COFFEE”. Completely cramped my tone. Thanks Fanta. (<Yes, that was deliberate. I know my style…*snaps fingers in Z formation*). Connor Franta- A Work In Process

  • Big dreamers

The book begins with a charming 9 page chapter called ‘In Retrospect– which, after an e-x-t-e-n-s-i-v-e Google search for the definition of the word ‘retrospect’, I concluded was a kind of ‘start to finish’ overview of his life- in retrospect. Convenient. The chapter begins with his six-year-old self, describing how his dad’s video camera looks something of “a toaster with a telescope attached”. Fascinating. Being the six-year-old spring bud that he was, Connor decided to use the telescopic toaster as a substitute person, to which he found himself “talking about nothing for an extended period of time under the presumption that I am funny”. No change there then *wink*. The whole chapter originates from this point, from the humorous-telescopic-toaster-talker to his ultimate dream- talking into a slightly less telescopic, less toaster-like object, still presuming he is funny (also, *wink*). Sky

  • Innovative creators“-

*Googles exact and precise definition of ‘innovative’* He in himself is an ‘innovative creator’ for writing the damn book. No-one in the world has ever started work, made progress with whatever it is he or she is doing, and called it what is it- a work in progress. New, original, and somehow creative. Yes, I got those words from the Google definition. emptylighthouse.com_


Thank you for reading, looking at the pictures, or whatever it was you came here for…I appreciate it! In case my somewhat O.T.T sarcasm clouded my true opinion of the book…I DAMN LOVE IT. It is a truly uplifting read; I cannot recommend this enough.

Sx

MAYBELLINE NEW YORK MASTER GRAPHIC LIQUID EYELINER: REVIEW| YAY OR NAY?

So this is undeniably an eyeliner, so I can start of by saying it lines the eyes…sometimes. Its temperamental nature leaves a nice ‘bold’ INVISIBLE  line above the lashes, completely contradicting the whole nature of the product. The packaging states:

“Liquid marker eyeliner for a bold graphic look.”

Without the ‘bold graphicness‘, the eyeliner is shaping up to be the equivalent of that sold in Poundland (*POUNDLAND PROMO: EYELINERS, MASCARAS, LIPSTICKS FOR ONLY £1, ROLL UP ROLL UP*).

However, on the rare occasions that it actually decides to do its job, the result can be somewhat satisfactory. As promised, the liner ACTUALLY LINES THE DAMN EYES, providing a bold, striking black line. The sloping head shape also aids application, and allows multiple styles to be easily drawn onto the eyelid. It looks a little something (exactly) like this:

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So once you’ve actually got some colour out of the thing, you prey it will last until you are 71 to recoup the stress of the whole damn painful process. Well good news, although it pains me to say, the line is incredibly long lasting…providing you don’t wash for the next 7 decades. Waterproof is not a nature withheld by the product, and so any moisture may provide you with a larger line than desired, and covering a lot more of your face then anticipated…

Other pros of using this product run along the lines of: its bold black colour (when it is so kind to show its face…or however you mould the expression to fit a non living object- oh lord), its flat base, its resistance to clump, and last but most certainly not least it was made in Italy. I always get excited by the thought of a guy with a 10 foot moustache ringing cowbells making eyeliner pens- normal right?

….And the final look is one of about 10,028,264,739,102,837 ways to wear this type of eyeliner, but preferably don’t follow this striking but quite frankly overpowering example:

MASTER_GRAPH_Model-Shot_665x602

(I think the emphasis is on the precision of the line, not the fact she now has a 50/50 white:black ratio eyelid…)


Thank you for reading, passing by, or for just about anything I could find to thank you for!

Sx

MAX FACTOR CLUMP DEFY MASCARA: REVIEW

Okay, lets dive straight in… (to the blog, not some metaphorical ocean) The mascara is mascara; this means it does as Google says:

mascara
maˈskɑːrə/
noun
 a cosmetic for darkening and thickening the eyelashes.

It undeniably both darkens and thickens the lashes- well done Google. However the extent of its “clump defying” nature is questionable. After a couple days of use, I began to notice those delightful little black clumps so delicately scattered around my eye lashes. Cool. So I can conclude: it doest defy the clumps, meaning is it just ordinary old “Max Factor mascara“- imaginative.

As with all mascaras, the more coats you apply, the thicker and longer your lashes will be (duh). But the added bonus with this mascara is inevitably with more coats come more precious little black blobs. So I recommend not multiple coating.

Now, with the seemingly ‘waterproof‘ editions- there is a ever so slight con. The packaging features the recognisable strip of blue colouring- signifying waterproof, however if you take a wee peek at the small print beneath “clump defy“, you will see it actually says “water resistant“. Bummer. I learnt the hard way- lets just say I understand that the lifeguard was not staring because he was fascinated by my natural beauty (yeah, fat chance), it was the streams of jet black stains coating the entire perimeter of my checks attracting his attention…

Although it is excruciating to admit, there are some pros. The handily ‘eye’ shape of the brush head makes for an easy application (as well as providing a handy reminder that is it your eye lashes you are to paint, not your eyebrow or wherever else you were about to smear the stuff- smart.) It looks a little (exactly) like this:

Other pros run along the lines of its long lasting formula (providing you widely avoid any form of moisture), its colour (black, its black), its flat bottom, and its manufacture origin- Ireland. You may say “What’s the difference, Ireland, China, product’s still the same?“- well technically yes, but no. Firstly, China is located 10,771.2 km away from Ireland. Secondly, the chance it could have been made by a leprechaun is so overbearingly exciting I would import everything from Ireland if I was a wee bit richer.

….And the end result: *cue dramatic drum roll*

before-and-after-800x705


Thank you for reading/ looking at the pictures/  personally forcing yourself to look at this blog- I appreciate your time!

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