Tag Archives: Make up

MAYBELLINE NEW YORK MASTER GRAPHIC LIQUID EYELINER: REVIEW| YAY OR NAY?

So this is undeniably an eyeliner, so I can start of by saying it lines the eyes…sometimes. Its temperamental nature leaves a nice ‘bold’ INVISIBLE  line above the lashes, completely contradicting the whole nature of the product. The packaging states:

“Liquid marker eyeliner for a bold graphic look.”

Without the ‘bold graphicness‘, the eyeliner is shaping up to be the equivalent of that sold in Poundland (*POUNDLAND PROMO: EYELINERS, MASCARAS, LIPSTICKS FOR ONLY £1, ROLL UP ROLL UP*).

However, on the rare occasions that it actually decides to do its job, the result can be somewhat satisfactory. As promised, the liner ACTUALLY LINES THE DAMN EYES, providing a bold, striking black line. The sloping head shape also aids application, and allows multiple styles to be easily drawn onto the eyelid. It looks a little something (exactly) like this:

malhar_140921_0106

So once you’ve actually got some colour out of the thing, you prey it will last until you are 71 to recoup the stress of the whole damn painful process. Well good news, although it pains me to say, the line is incredibly long lasting…providing you don’t wash for the next 7 decades. Waterproof is not a nature withheld by the product, and so any moisture may provide you with a larger line than desired, and covering a lot more of your face then anticipated…

Other pros of using this product run along the lines of: its bold black colour (when it is so kind to show its face…or however you mould the expression to fit a non living object- oh lord), its flat base, its resistance to clump, and last but most certainly not least it was made in Italy. I always get excited by the thought of a guy with a 10 foot moustache ringing cowbells making eyeliner pens- normal right?

….And the final look is one of about 10,028,264,739,102,837 ways to wear this type of eyeliner, but preferably don’t follow this striking but quite frankly overpowering example:

MASTER_GRAPH_Model-Shot_665x602

(I think the emphasis is on the precision of the line, not the fact she now has a 50/50 white:black ratio eyelid…)


Thank you for reading, passing by, or for just about anything I could find to thank you for!

Sx

MAX FACTOR CLUMP DEFY MASCARA: REVIEW

Okay, lets dive straight in… (to the blog, not some metaphorical ocean) The mascara is mascara; this means it does as Google says:

mascara
maˈskɑːrə/
noun
 a cosmetic for darkening and thickening the eyelashes.

It undeniably both darkens and thickens the lashes- well done Google. However the extent of its “clump defying” nature is questionable. After a couple days of use, I began to notice those delightful little black clumps so delicately scattered around my eye lashes. Cool. So I can conclude: it doest defy the clumps, meaning is it just ordinary old “Max Factor mascara“- imaginative.

As with all mascaras, the more coats you apply, the thicker and longer your lashes will be (duh). But the added bonus with this mascara is inevitably with more coats come more precious little black blobs. So I recommend not multiple coating.

Now, with the seemingly ‘waterproof‘ editions- there is a ever so slight con. The packaging features the recognisable strip of blue colouring- signifying waterproof, however if you take a wee peek at the small print beneath “clump defy“, you will see it actually says “water resistant“. Bummer. I learnt the hard way- lets just say I understand that the lifeguard was not staring because he was fascinated by my natural beauty (yeah, fat chance), it was the streams of jet black stains coating the entire perimeter of my checks attracting his attention…

Although it is excruciating to admit, there are some pros. The handily ‘eye’ shape of the brush head makes for an easy application (as well as providing a handy reminder that is it your eye lashes you are to paint, not your eyebrow or wherever else you were about to smear the stuff- smart.) It looks a little (exactly) like this:

Other pros run along the lines of its long lasting formula (providing you widely avoid any form of moisture), its colour (black, its black), its flat bottom, and its manufacture origin- Ireland. You may say “What’s the difference, Ireland, China, product’s still the same?“- well technically yes, but no. Firstly, China is located 10,771.2 km away from Ireland. Secondly, the chance it could have been made by a leprechaun is so overbearingly exciting I would import everything from Ireland if I was a wee bit richer.

….And the end result: *cue dramatic drum roll*

before-and-after-800x705


Thank you for reading/ looking at the pictures/  personally forcing yourself to look at this blog- I appreciate your time!

S x  (*insert fancy shamancy signature name thing that the other accounts do*)

What I Call ‘Life Hacks’

So, you may ask why the featured image for this post is four what appear to be floating bags. You ask this either because you genuinely believe bags can levitate (which, to clarify, they cant), or you just haven’t got round to reading the conveniently named title yet. I can assure you; this blog cannot- and will not- teach you the power of levitation, or even the meaning of the word. No, if that is your destiny, youtube is a much more suitable source.

Right, now I may have lost half the readers to a levitating youtube video (that is a video on levitation, not a video which can levitate…), it may prove highly beneficial to actually get on with the damn blog, before I loose the other half via boredom inflicted death. So here goes, 6 ways to easily (and safely) hack life:

  1. Hack numero uno: The miraculously longer ponytail- with miraculously less long hair.

ohh

This is potentially a hack within a hack. You may have been hacked (<METAPHORICALLY) into thinking this is a hack to hack hair growth. Now besides the gazillion mentions of the word “hack”, I can tell you it isn’t. This hack (here we go again) is a way to imitate the look of a longer, fuller pony by creating two ponytails- a high and a low- which together create…well, a longer, fuller pony tail.

2. Hack dos: Longer lasting waves- without the longer lasting discomfort of curlers or plaits.

oh

Hacking the hack again. This may just look like a women with ocd which cannot stand curly plait nubs (), but in reality, the women most probably doesn’t have ocd, or curly plait nubs, which rules out that option. Running a straightener (or ‘flat iron’– if you are of the American type) over plaited hair crimps and curls the hair- leaving you with long lasting locks.

3. Tres: The correct way to perfume- ‘all day formula’ as the adverts say.

hhhhhheeelllooo

No hacked hack here (< tongue twister much?), just the right places to apply perfume; which makes you wonder, what are classed as the ‘wrong’ places? Feet? Belly button? They all sound credible places to me- perhaps the ‘wrong’ is the awkward moment when the scent of Justin Beiber begins arrising from between your toes. Awkward.

4. Numero cuatro: matte lipstick- without the lipstick being matted.

yesUsing eye shadow on your lips both defeats the objective of the product, and the comfort of your lips- but hey, at least your lips look matted! Applying a dab of appropriately coloured powder over lipstick conceals the shine and voila- you have made matted lipstick (and saved a few million pounds).

5. Cinco: summer dress- from a baggy t-shirt.

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No double wammy with the hacks- “what you see is what you get”, so to speak. It is apparently so easy, it is possible to model the process outside your own front door- or so the picture suggests. It looks great, but what is there to stop it unravelling again? I propose (metaphorically) the discreet use of a safety pin, to avoid what could be a rather embarrassing and quite frankly awkward situation.

6. Numero seis: All in one eye-liner and lash curler…for real.

ffff

So that is…”line” (the top of the lash curler), “curl” (using the lash curler), and then your’e “done” (with the last curler). This is the ultimate hacked hack of the hacks, hence its position at the end of the post, in the hope everyone will have lost interest  and left me and my all-in-last curler to be happy hacking hacks together.


If you have managed so reach this point, you are either bored beyond hope, lost from whatever webpage you originated from, or have somehow managed to enjoy my scrag of a post. Either way, I thank you.

S x