- SUCKING A SNAKE BITE WILL REMOVE VENOM – a venom delivering bite will immediately enter the blood stream. Sucking the bite will solely transfer more bacteria to the affected area and an addition into your mouth and esophagus. If someone gets bitten, low keep heart rate and lower limb below heart level …(and of course, go to hospital!)
- PLAY DEAD UNDER BEAR ATTACK – Unless in the your backyard, the general consensus is that one should quietly back away- otherwise in this situation (i.e. in yard or, for example, campsite) make yourself large and loud, which should will usually scare it off.In the case of an actual attack it is important to note a brown or grizzly bear attacks to defend itself or its cubs- thus noises and pretend charges are solely a warning tactic. In this case- back away from a defensive attack slowly. If the bear makes contact, play dead lying on your stomach with your hands over your neck. But in the rare case of a predatory attack, which comes with no warning (or if the bear seems to be stalking you), fight for your life.
- IF IN WILDERNESS- SOURCE FOOD IMMEDIATELY – One can survive up to six weeks without food (this is a estimate and dependant on starting point and existing heath issues, however shelter and water are priorities).
- IF LOST IN A DESERT- DRINK FLUID FROM CACTUS – Unless one is experiences enough to identify the correct type of barrel cactus than allows safe water filtration, you are likely to end up vomiting, thus releasing more precious contents…leaving you even more dehydrated
- THE NORTH SIDE OF THE TREE HOSTS THE GROWING MOSS- the variable is environmental conditions, only this will affect the location of moss.
- IF AN ANIMAL EATS IT, YOU CAN EAT IT – easily proven wrong by the instance of birds and squirrels- many can eats nuts and seeds that would poison a human.
- IF SOMEONE IS FREEZING, RUB THEIR SKIN OR PLACE THEM IN A HOT TUB- Frostbitten skin is fragile and thus damaged by rubbing, hot water can be shocking or damaging for someone dealing with frostbite and hypothermia. Use blankets and hot water bottles (most effective placed under armpits) to warm up slowly.
- IN THE CASE OF A SHARK ATTACK, PUNCH THE NOSE – targeting the nose of a moving shark is difficult- it is better to place a solid object between you and offensive shark (or if this isn’t an option, claw at it’s eyes and gills).
- IF CAUGHT IN RIP CURRENT, TRAVEL PARALLEL TO SHORE- Swimming directly parallel to shore works effectively only if the current goes directly out to sea – it is a better idea to remain alongside the shore, but swim perpendicular to the current as much as possible “at an angle away from the current and towards the shore”. Of course don’t tire yourself out too much; it shouldn’t feel like you are going upstream. If unable to swim out- tread water until this is possible.
I pains me to say it but LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER: always eat a balanced diet. This may sound as dull as hell and evoke an endless sense of foods with ‘HEALTH‘ written all over them…piles of fruit…vegetables…spinach…carrots EUGH. Well guess what…did you know that Cheerios are actually surprisingly high in calcium? Hm. Thought not. Your education awaits you my fellow (non-existent) friend…
HOW TO EAT YOUR WAY TO A CALCIUM OVERLOAD!:
- Drink a glass of milk after you wake up, and once again before bed.
- Grab a handful of almonds with breakfast…you’d be ‘nuts’ not to! (sorrrry)– the most nutritionally dense nut, packing a crazy amounts of nutrients per calorie and ounce. Aside from calcium, they also contain potassium, vitamin E, and iron.
- And as for the cereal…well…CHEERIOS will do the job!– bet you didn’t expect that one… did ya now.
- Take an orange for a mid-morning snack– packed to the brim (not that oranges have a brim…) with not only calcium but VITAMIN C TOO!! Amazing. Thank the Lord for oranges (though he could have thought of a name with a little more imagination…)
- ….And why not have some orange juice while your at it?
- Fancy a yogurt? Take one!– Your calcium overload awaits…
- If you’re still not satisfied…take a nibble of cheese.
Don’t expect a six pack after employing this tactic, but do expect a ‘new and healthier you’…yeah I don’t get that saying either. Bloody advertisements.
I do wish for you to find this blog post thing interesting…in whatever form a lecture about the health of human beings can be interesting…basically thank you to the one or two lost people who were unfortunate enough to stumble across this site. *sigh of utter depression in empathy*.
Gooooooood ‘damn’ bye (as said by the all love-able Joey Graceffa from the world of YOUTUBE. I love him- just a side note, as you understand.)