I would like to think I have more money than sense, however in reality I am richer in sense than money…but unfortunately for me I don’t have a lot of that either. I prefer to spend my £6.50 weekly pocket money allowance on pizza duvet covers and emoji curtains than the basic necessities of life like knickers or socks. Consequently, as a result of my binge buying, my wish list shall remain a wish list until I have acquired about £50,000 via an extensive bank robbery (-or other more socially acceptable sources), so here is: my very wished-wish list of items and objects I will never own from a pre-summer hall in spring:
*WARNING: THE FOLLOWING PHOTOGRAPHY CONTAINS PICTURES FEATURING HIGHLY ‘OBSESS-ABLE’ PRODUCTS WHICH SOME VIEWERS MAY FIND IRRESISTIBLE*
1. Sleeping with pizza: duvet covers
I appreciate my introduction to this item was a tad bizarre, and may or may not have sparked a wee kink on at least one persons mind. Perhaps it would have been more socially acceptable to title this ‘Sleeping in pizza‘- although that could also be interpreted in an unintended way. To any one who owns/ or longs to own a pizza duvet cover- I applaud you. You have such extreme self control not to order 15 boxes of Dominos every time you walk into your bedroom.
If you are an obsessive pizza person, click http://www.redbubble.com/people/snkatk/works/12801207-pepperoni-pizza?p=duvet-cover.
2. Emojis in real life- i.e. emoji cushions
I realise the smiling poo emoji tops the irresistable to-buy list, however the reality of having a grinning deposit laying beside you is somewhat strange. I urge you to choose from one of the other 476 emojis to cushion-ise from your emoji keyboard; like the heart eyes emoji- or whatever you would so label it. These are a great way to brighten your room, and obtain obsessive house fans from your visitors.
To give your room a little (big) bit of colour, click http://yehaw.co.uk/emoji-cushions-super-cute-6-styles-from-7.html
3. Mixed emotions cropped top- or should I say ’emoji-tions’…(sorry)
If it is fame you crave then this is your destiny. I guarantee walking around with this attire clinging to your chest will attract a few eyes- expect screaming- as I didn’t (did) do when I came across the fabulous creation. (Also, Freshtops have such fresh tops for sale- clever name really- I highly recommend you check them out- click http://www.fresh-tops.com/.)
To become famous, click http://www.fresh-tops.com/products/emosmiles-crop-top.
4. Take a trip with emojis- the emoji backpack
I urge you not to wear the crop top on the same day or even in the same hour as using this bag- or you may be referred to a psychologist with serious concerns of a life threatening emoji obsession. I personally cannot resist this, if I look at this beautiful contraption for much longer I’m pretty sure I will turn into an emoji bag myself. Besides the emojis, these bags are also super comfortable (or ‘comfy’ as they say on the street).
To enlarge your physical emoji collection, click http://www.shopjeen.com/products/emoji-backpack.
5. Slice sleeper- The pizza sleeping bag
This may stir up a slightly awkward and really rather uncomfortable situation when you arrive for a sleepover with a 10 foot pizza topped with 3 foot detachable mushrooms and broccoli- but you ‘only live once’ apparently. Hugging a giant broccoli is apparently very relaxing- or so the picture suggests. I’m unsure how comfortable this is, but comfort will be far down the list of priorities when your sleeping in a giant slice of mixed-veg pizza.
Get your 10 foot pizza slice, click https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/96236038/plain-slice-of-pizza-sleeping-bag?ref=related-7.
6. A burger on a bed- the burger duvet
You may have gathered by now that I am a tinkle hungry writing this post- hence the past gazillion food related objects. This is an animated version of the pizza cover- besides the fact its not pizza, and animation isn’t precisely the terminology used to describe a real life photograph (< confused yet?). This is also a slightly more socially acceptable cover for your bed, meaning you will not be urged to hop up to the nearest burger king at every glance.
To order your burger, click http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/12/11/burger-bedding-davidelfin_n_2273081.html.
7. A grey day- cloud light and sound system
This will confuse the neighbours; its not everyday you witness a glowing rain cloud floating in the next door window playing ‘Shake It Off’ by Taylor Swift. This is more of a fantasy purchase that I’m not (I am) quite crazy enough to actually buy. The price is a little offputting- hence the reason I haven’t actually looked at the price yet, or even looked for the price, so my statement is only an assumption.
To buy your singing glowing rain cloud, click http://www.richardclarkson.com/shop/cloud.
I realise it is highly unlikely I have any readers left- which is presuming I had any to begin with- after unintentionally urging them to go to every other webpage but this one. Even so I would just like to say thank you for reading- please spend responsibly (< is that off an advert?).