NEVER BUY AN ATTACHABLE IPAD KEYBOARD

Belkin_iPad_Mini_keyboard_case_35558278_03I AM CURRENTLY ENDURING THE USE OF A KEYBOARD-ATTACHED-TO-AN-IPAD TYPE CONTRAPTION VAGUELY RESEMBLING A DINNER PLATE WITH LOPSIDED KETTLE ATTACHED (UTTERLY UNLIKE THE HEAVEN OF A CREATION ABOVE). THIS IS BOTH HIGHLY DISCONCERTING TO MY ALREADY FRAGILE MENTAL STATE AND HOSTING THE CAUSE OF THIS RATHER EXAGGERATED LOOKING SO CONVENIENTLY CALLED "CAPS LOCK" FUNCTION TO FINALLY TO COME IN USE. I will SUBSIDE. I PROMISE. Maybe. Onwards.

…Adding to this certain point in my mid-life crisis is the fact that I purchased this amazingly interesting gizmo in the delightful country of España from a delightful man with a delightful 10 foot moustache to whom I had no means of communication. Let your mind run away with your self. I literally by NO MEANS of explanation can explain something I deem unexplainable. I shall from here on out refrain from using the word “explain“. Thank you. Myself.

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Next in line come the jolly old repercussions of the shenanigans (*desperately seeks colon symbol but colon symbol key has been replaced by the letter “Z” key. Joys. OH THE JOYS.)-

  • The event of a catastrophic landslide occurs every five-or-so minutes as the feeble anorexic stick of a stand on this devil device stages an all mighty collapse.
  • In addition to this fatal risk, the whole devise is in THE WONDERFUL LANGUAGE OF Spanish. Including the keys and functions on the keyboard. It is safe to say i am finding this m-a-r-g-i-n-a-l-l-y difficult.
  • But not only are the vital buttons on this gadet in a forgien language…they are also mixed up and reversed. Everything I have ever known on the so called ‘universal qwerty keyboard‘ is in some type of funky hide-and-seek order. End of distressed announcement. (*walks away*).

It is from here that you (yes, I am talking to you, non-existent reader) will be glad to know my complaints have subsided. Along with my mentions of the word “subsided“- which I feel I should subside from using in every subsided paragraph. I’ve subsided from subsiding. I don’t even know the definition of the word. Excuse me a moment.

I may have been using the word wrong this whole time in which case I can conclude: I should of subsided at the very beginning.

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This is the part below the convenient horizontal line in which I say something along the lines of:

“Thank you so much for (not) reading this frazzle of a blog which will, and most likely already is, lost somewhere in the conveniently named: World Wide Web. Myself and I are most grateful. Please do(n’t) come again.”

But in all seriousness, thank you for (or being more realistic- for not) reading this rather large smidgen of a blog. I hope your life is a notch less stressful than mine.

Sx

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