A Work In Progress- Connor Franta: Review

tumblr_nqg9twr7Wp1tcf0aho1_500 (1) So. Damn. I-n-s-p-i-r-i-n-g. When you read this book- because you will – you literally will feel like you could fly to the moon in a Tesco’s carrier bag…or something. I bought the book because it was on offer in Tesco- hence the convenient Tesco reference above. I admit: it was cheap. So I bought it- relatable? No? Oh, just me then. But the point is…ITS FREAKING AMAZING! Let me expand on that…

For the deep thinkers, big dreamers, and innovative creators of the world who inspire me.

This basically is a picture-perfect, well…word-perfect summary of the WHOLE book:

  • Deep thinkers

This 212 page object will seriously make you re-evaluate your WHOLE life. There are chapters on “The Levels Of Friendship”, anxiety, his struggles to identify and accept himself and his sexuality, suppressing your inner creativity, accepting your flaws, happiness, faith…and coffee. There is literally a chapter called “COFFEE”. Completely cramped my tone. Thanks Fanta. (<Yes, that was deliberate. I know my style…*snaps fingers in Z formation*). Connor Franta- A Work In Process

  • Big dreamers

The book begins with a charming 9 page chapter called ‘In Retrospect– which, after an e-x-t-e-n-s-i-v-e Google search for the definition of the word ‘retrospect’, I concluded was a kind of ‘start to finish’ overview of his life- in retrospect. Convenient. The chapter begins with his six-year-old self, describing how his dad’s video camera looks something of “a toaster with a telescope attached”. Fascinating. Being the six-year-old spring bud that he was, Connor decided to use the telescopic toaster as a substitute person, to which he found himself “talking about nothing for an extended period of time under the presumption that I am funny”. No change there then *wink*. The whole chapter originates from this point, from the humorous-telescopic-toaster-talker to his ultimate dream- talking into a slightly less telescopic, less toaster-like object, still presuming he is funny (also, *wink*). Sky

  • Innovative creators“-

*Googles exact and precise definition of ‘innovative’* He in himself is an ‘innovative creator’ for writing the damn book. No-one in the world has ever started work, made progress with whatever it is he or she is doing, and called it what is it- a work in progress. New, original, and somehow creative. Yes, I got those words from the Google definition. emptylighthouse.com_


Thank you for reading, looking at the pictures, or whatever it was you came here for…I appreciate it! In case my somewhat O.T.T sarcasm clouded my true opinion of the book…I DAMN LOVE IT. It is a truly uplifting read; I cannot recommend this enough.

Sx

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(Partly) D.I.Y Gift Ideas For Under $5…

So clearly you’re a cheapskate…otherwise why are you reading this post? But that’s okay, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being a cheapskate (apart from the fact you clearly don’t appreciate your friend/ family/ gift receiver (joke-sorry)).

But anyway you’re here, you’re (not) a cheapskate, so lets go…


(1) Gift idea uno: ARROW BOOKMARKS (from lolly sticks)

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Because everyone reads…right? *Looks at self in realisation* Oh.


(2) ‘EMBELLISHED’ OREOS

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This may be a serious case of ‘good picture, nice try‘, but hey…Oreos are currently on offer in Tesco…

…I said OREOS ARE ON OFFER IN TESCO. Thank you. Lord, I sound like one of those tannoy speaker people.


(3) STARBUCKS LATTE SOAP

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For all those so called ‘white girls‘ of the world. Racist if you ask me. But it’s Starbucks, so, do it.


(4)HOME-MADE BUBBLE BATH (ft. printable label-shh)

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So strip a wine bottle and shove a cork in it…literally. Choose your label here.


(5) LIP BALM LOCKETS

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Looks like a ketchup to me…anyone else? Find out how to make a ketchup locket here.


(6)WATERCOLOUR PORTRAITS 

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Okay so perhaps not for your boyfriend or best mate. That’s weird. But image the look on your grandad’s face when he finds a distorted alien-type figure vaguely resembling a human in his stocking. Its easier than you think. It’s here.


(7) BATH BOMBS IN A JAR 

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Looks like half eaten cupcakes to me. Link’s here.


(8)CRAYON CANDLE

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Okay. Being real: what is the chance that ever layer will be a PERFECT straight line. *Sighs*. Directions here.


(9)BASEBALL BRACELET 

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If you happen to have a spare baseball…(which I don’t. DAMN IT.) Find out how- here.


…And finally…(10) CUSTOM COLOURED ‘CANDY’

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Half of these creations look mouldy. I suppose that’s the style? It’s here.


And we’re done! “The 10 step guide to (not) being a cheapskate“.

No but really, there is nothing wrong with wanting value for money…or in this case just value…you’re not really spending any money (but they don’t know that).

I hope you, my (non-existant) millions of fellow followers,  found some satisfaction in reading this blog…and maybe even saved a pound or so in the process!

Sx

Ask yourself these questions:

I have a Facebook account; which may surprise you considering I write like a 55 year old lonely man. But every once in a while I come across some inspirational sh*t which really mucks up my already mentally unstable mind. But like I say, it’s inspirational sh*t.

So, (not) being a lonely 55 year old man, I thought I would create some inspirational sh*t…well. Google and I. We are very fond of one another…um. I felt a little more lonely when researching questions, which involved the typing of “questions to ask y…”, which I would have followed up with “yourself”, had the suggestions not been:

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No suggestion for questions to “yourself”? Okay. *Creeps back to hole in ground*.

So without more-damn-a-do, lets ask questions, to yourself, to make you seriously re-contemplate your potentially already contemplated life. Yeah.

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> Question to ask yourself number one (in your face Google- this is history, apparently)-

If this were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today? 

(the preferable answer being yes, if no, then GET A SHIFT WITH YOUR LIFE WOMEN/MAN!)

> Question two:

What matters most in my life?

(Apart from Nutella, and Joey Graceffa. Oh and Cameron Dallas. And Tyler Oakley, and Troye Sivan and the WHOLE youtube community. #TeamInternet).

> Question three:

Have I done anything lately worth remembering?

(Apart from reading this blog. Obviously. Obviously.)

>Question four:

What have I given up on?

(A friend? A goal? Reading this blog? < OI)

> Questionio five:

If I had to instill one piece of advice in a newborn baby’s mind, what advice would I give?

(*Slush warning*)

>Question se…six:

If I try to fail, and succeed, which have I done?

(Failed, obviously. Right?)

>Question seven:

What do I need to change about myself?

(Don’t say your phone, or your clothes, or your eyebrows, think DEEPER.)

>Question eight:

How many of my friends would I trust with my life?

(“With my life” being like…hanging of a cliff over a shark infested ocean, or something.)

>Question nine:

What do I want most in life?

(For me- utter happiness. *Face palm at self*)

>Question ten:

Which is worse: failing or never trying?

(Come on…DUH)


Thank you for reading this wee snippet of a blog I threw together for my millions of (non existent) viewers…I appreciate your time! I hope you now have fully re-evaluated your life and will take any necessary action…or whatever.

Sx

Schwarzkopf Got2b Beach Matt Texturing Salt Spray (MERMAID LOOK)| WOO OR NO? Review

Sadly, this product may not, cannot, and will not transform you into a mermaid, despite its claim to generate a full “mermaid look“. On the upside, however, it’s undeniably salty (duh); which means two things: (1) the contacted hair grows relatively long lasting wavy kinks, (2) the hair tastes, feels, and smells salty. Unless you are some type of salt scientist or sodium chloride enthusiast, I suggest wearing 2330638789 molecules of salt on your head is somewhat uncomfortable- outlining an ever so slight disadvantage of the spray.

maxresdefault Other disadvantages run along the lines of its powers of congealing everything it comes into contact with. Okay. Maybe not everything but still. Onwards. If sprayed within a certain distance of the hair (being too close), you may find yourself with fewer strands of hair than first anticipated, and a lovely new clump-style hair do. So the morale of the story is: all is well if not sprayed to closely. Like most things in life, such as, um…most things.

Another bum note of the product is its ability to grease-ify the hair. Upon recently scanning through the ingredients of the spray (yes, hair sprays have ingredients labels), I was mortified to find several terrifying additives. Among them was “Hydrogenated Castor Oil“- explaining its potential to add a certain unwanted shine to the hair.

PAUSE. REWIND. ^”hair sprays have ingredients labels“:

Ingredients: Agua, PEG-8, Sodium Chloride, Magnesium Sulfate, Phenoxyethanol, Hydrogenated Castor Oil, Parfum, Lactic Acid, Anise Alcohol…”

ACID? ALCOHOL? THIS IS NOT SOME EXPERIMENTAL CHEMISTRY PRACTICAL, WHERE THE SUBJECT OF MATTER IS ACID+ALCOHOL+HUMAN HAIR=?, THIS IS HAIR, ON MY HEAD, WHICH I AM POTENTIALLY DISSOLVING AND THEN FORCE FEEDING ETHANOL SUBSTANCES. Okay. Rant over. I had to make the point.

IMG_2781Besides all the drama a crisis, it pains me to say there are some (a lot) of advantages to this product. Besides its successful attempt at its intended job, the spray smells surprisingly pleasant (Is that anything to do with this “parfum” which sounds suspiciously like “perfume”? The world will never know.) The bottle is also I-N-C-R-E-D-I-B-L-Y Tumblr. Just by the way.


Thank you for or for not reading my 7163276492187th attempt at reviewing this thing, I look forward to the millions of views I will (not) receive after publishing this very post. *sobs in despair*

Sx